Tonight
I want to speak to the shy girls thinking “I could never do
that”. This is for all of you how tell yourself that you are
not thin enough
or tall enough
or pretty enough
to do your own boudoir shoot. I'm going to share where I get my own
strength from, and some other things about where you might be able to
find the courage to try this for yourself.
I
absolutely love when a client comes in and is so secure in their skin
that they are willing to really play to the camera while they wear
next to nothing. I really adore when I can have a model sign up for
a shoot thinking they want to keep their images personal, and end up
signing a release at the end because the beauty we captured is just
too perfect not to share. To all the models out there waiting to
have a shoot like that, those moments are only achieved through a
comfort in who “you” are as a person.
That
strength and courage is a marvel to me. I feel that I am blessed to
share in those moments of beauty and power when a woman can express
her sexuality without shame. Inside every one of my models is a fire
that will engulf anyone foolish enough to pour on some gasoline.
They are rebels, rule breakers, free spirits that are proud of the
female form with which they have been blessed.
These
woman should be an inspiration to so many more girls and women. They
are proud of their curves, proud of the stretchmarks on their belly
and the baby that left them there. They are proud of the scars, the
piercings, the tattoos, all the things that make their body unique.
They are brave, and as a woman, I envy them for their courage.
When
I look in the mirror today, I see a very different body from the one
I remember. One year post-postpartum, I still see stretchmarks and a
line of discoloration on my belly. I am heavier and less than
pleased about how the weight is still not leaving even with a very
controlled diet and more exercise. I look at the changes and have to
tell myself that I am still the same woman that was a model years
ago. At this point in my life, I could not pull off the kind of self
assured and almost defiant sexuality that is needed to make those
shots work.
My
history is a long one when it comes to body image. I was raised by
parents and close family friends that always made sure to teach their
children that all bodies are beautiful. I remember going
skinny-dipping back in the days when parents would not be hauled off
to jail just because their kids did a nude cannonball into the river
behind their house in the middle of the woods. I remember never
being ashamed of wearing shorts to school even though I always had
skinned knees and bruises on my legs from climbing rocks and riding
horses. I even remember being teased because I developed early and
the other kids were looking for any reason to be cruel, as preteens
are want to do. And I remember suddenly learning serious body
modesty when a boyfriend began to force his thoughts on how I should
dress, wear my hair, and apply make-up. Working with horses,
swimming on my college team, and jogging at the gym to clear my head
all helped to keep me in shape but I never really thought about diet
and exercise in terms of how “sexy” it made me. I never really
thought about having to make myself attractive until it was
something that reflected on my other-half.
At
the same time, I would love to have my own boudoir shoot as a gift
for my husband. He is my lovely right hand man and gives me “a
man's perspective” when I find myself struggling with a shot or
concept. He has given me courage to take what I thought would be a
flop, and make it into my favorite for the entire shoot. It is
because of that nonjudgmental support that I continue to work on
pushing through my own blocks and boundaries to achieve something
better.
I
believe that the best models are those who can give themselves
permission to let go; the ones that loose themselves in the moment
and stop thinking about how silly they look to people not aiming a
camera. Perhaps that is as much about being willing to live life for
the moment as it is about getting a great photo. I can think of a
few snapshots taken of me that are my favorites because they have an
aspect of candid beauty that can never be recreated. It is images
like that which I hope to find in every shoot.
In
all honesty, I really hope every morning to simply have the camera
pointed in the right direction. I have faith that with the camera
pointed at the model, and a comfortable and supportive environment in
the studio or on the set, magic really can happen.
